November 3rd, 2011
Are You a Lucky Devil?
Some people seem more lucky than others: getting the breaks and wangling those amazing opportunities that allow them to prosper in life. Most rags-to-riches business people will tell you that their success came from a lot of hard work and a little bit of good luck.
Whilst hard work can be created with time and effort, luck seems a bit more elusive. In this video, I wanted to see how simple it would be to manufacture luck. After all, it seems to be a tipping point in most stories of success; and in my opinion, too crucial to chance to divine intervention.
Human Networks Are Powerful
Reaching out to people is a great way to harness your ever-developing social skills and transform your life by building genuine relationships with them. After all, it never ever hurts to know somebody who can pull the odd string or two to help you out; whether thats a business contact who can kick-start your career, or a colleague who’ll play matchmaker and refresh your dwindling dating life.
The Formula for Luck
The Roman philosopher Seneca strongly believed that: ‘Luck was what happened when preparation met with opportunity’. With this insight he highlighted two huge factors that fortunate people benefit from:
Step 1: Preparation
Who is that person sitting next to you in the hotel lobby? Or in front of you in the line for the toilet? When the random opportunity to meet a great person lands on your plate you’ll want to be sure you have the skills to take ACTION and speak to them. Some conversationalists are more skilled than others, so if you’re yet to master the gift of the gab you’ll probably just need a little practice to tighten up your skill set. Refine your conversation skills by talking to people everywhere. Start small and strike up conversations with people in shops: they’re usually very receptive.
Step 2: Opportunity
When you talk to people you’ll find that favourable circumstances present themselves to us more than you realise. For example, last week I was invited to a party. Feeling tired, I initially decided to pass on the opportunity. Remembering that more opportunity would be created if I went, I dragged myself to the venue and met my friends. The club was very loud and noisy (the type that make your head hurt) so I headed to a quiet area. Whilst there, I met a guy who also escaping from the noise. He turned out to be a movie director from Toronto! The secret to luck is siezing opportunity.
Say ‘YES’ More
In 2005, Danny Wallace wrote the book ‘Yes Man’, a diary that detailed his commitment to constantly welcome opportunity into his life. Wallace’s premise was simple: say ‘yes’ where once you would have said ‘no’. Making this decision positively transformed his life (to the point where Hollywood was impressed enough to put Jim Carrey in a movie about it!) Inspired, I decided to say YES more and document the result on video.
The First Yes…
I was contacted through my website by a student who asked me to give a business lecture at his university. I said Yes and agreed to the request. When the day came it took effort, hard work and a long night of planning to prepare for the talk.
The Second Yes…
After the lecture, several of the students invited me to the local bar for a drink. I was very tired as I had stayed awake the previous night planning my speech. I said Yes and agreed to the request. In doing so, I met and made many new friends and sunk a lot of beer.
The Third Yes…
A few months later, several of my friends at the university invited me to an event they were holding. They had arranged for Charles Dunstone, the co-founder of the UK telecommunications company Carphone Warehouse to give a speech. (According to Forbes, his net worth is about $1.6 Billion). I said Yes and agreed to the request. I turned up to the event and was lead to the front row of a huge auditorium. My friends promptly sat me next to the principal of the unviersity. Whils he was on stage I was able to ask Charles Dunstone a question I was curious about.
The Fourth Yes…
After Charles Dunstone left the stage, one of my friends asked me to join them for a drink again. I said Yes and agreed to the request. We chatted in the bar and enjoyed a beer. Woo should walk in but Charles Dunstone! I seized the opportunity and struck up a conversation with him: I was able to pick his billionaire brains about a few ideas and got to know him better. Most people would call that kind of networking opportunity good luck…really it was a product of saying yes.
Build a ‘Yes’ Chain!
Saying the odd yes here and there won’t do. That’s what everybody does. The power of yes truly reveals itself once you begin to build a chain of yeses. My story truly began in the middle of one such chain: it actually started back when somebody said I should build a website. If I hadn’t agreed to that suggestion then I would never have got the email that led to the opportunity to document the story you saw in the video!
Saying yes the first few times takes effort because you are relinquishing control. However, each Yes in the chain becomes easier. Agreeing to give a talk took time and effort. Joining a celebrity billionaire for a drink was a lot easier. A chain of agreements almost always leads to a profitable situation.
Conclusion
Say ‘Yes’ more… no matter how much that spoils your life. It’s only then you can fully appreciate the power of saying No…
Awesome video Marcus. Love how you always put quality vids out there..
I have one question though.. You got the mail, because you’re already “known” by a lot of people and interesting.
How should ordinary people with good goals say yes when we don’t just go up to 70 people and having a presentation, which in your case led to the final result..
@ Mr. A …Great point!
The presentation was a just another stepping stone on from a previous opportunity that I acted upon. If I really go back in time a bit, I remember I put my website up because somebody suggested I finally do it.
I didn’t know anything about ‘web-stuff’, so after a few ‘erms’ and ‘maybes’ I finally agreed. Then I took action (always the hard bit) and pulled in some favours (the results of previous ‘yes’ tokens I’d collected over time) to get it done on the strap.
That decision lead to me having a small platform to put my ideas across, which generated the occasional speaking engagement, again which I said ‘yes’ to and acted upon. So I guess we come half way into the story…and it is a story that is still ongoing. I wanted to document the effect of saying ‘yes’ 3-4 times in a row. The goal was to welcome whatever came my way (including all the stress the night before the talk)!
In answer to your excellent question, start saying ‘yes’ now and build the chain. If any link feels like hard work then it’ll probably take you some place worth going. That’s all i did… and still am doing. Hope that helps!
Awesome video, always a treat… I wonder what would happen if is say yes 4 times in a row to opportunity… Will see
It is a critical point. Honestly, I was expecting something else. However, don’t you agree with me that too much ‘Yeses’ can get you in trouble? On the other hand, there are dozens of books that talk about the power of ‘NO’. Yet, I agree that yes=opportunity. In fact, you know what I’ll read the book first. Thanks for both the book and the video.
Yes
@Wael I definitely agree too many ‘Yeses’ can lead to trouble, especially if you lose control of the adventure and if your personal boundaries get crossed (that’s where ‘no’ rightly comes in!). I think experimenting with building a chain of yeses is key thing to explore. I hope you like the book, it’s fantastic (the Jim Carrey movie, less so)!
Thanks for the good answer!
I guess just taking action, creating something and being open for new challenges is the key..
You’ve just inspired me to start my own blog about everything I find exciting, helpful, inspiring and motivating. Thanks!!
Hi Marcus
I love your work, would you mind if I ask you a dodgy question?
Let’s say I’m from ethnic group X and it really grates me that someone from the same ethnic group will talk to me and ask me the same boring questions ever. Obviously, he/she will be keen to connect, and I may say Yes, however, this borders on the personal boundaries comment as above… Would you still encourage to say yes and going for it, knowing that I’ll be feeling cheated & cheating myself?
@Chris It depends what your motivation is. Perhaps they not as good a conversationalist as you, and feel comfortable talking about tried and tested topics to begin with. People connect more deeply over time, so saying’ yes’ to meeting them gives you a chance to get to know them better. This may lead to further adventures down the line. Try it out and if you still feel awful about meeting people you don’t want to, say ‘no’!
@Mr. A -Awesome!
Hellow Marcus,
Your video was one in a million mate! But my question is about when you say no, because I have tried saying yes to everything and yes it did present me a lot more opportunities but also sometimes it led me to spending less time on things that I wanted to focus on.
So presuming that day in day out you don’t say yes to absolutely everything, I would love to know what your thought process is when you decide to say no, how do you make sure you are saying no to the right things??
@Dan ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are both very powerful words. Most people are very comfortable with saying No because it keeps control and stability in their life. Saying ‘No’ prevents you from having to commit to anything, which keeps your life on its present track. Saying ‘Yes’ creates opportunity and that leads to chaos and can give your life a much needed shake-up. I believe most people need to say ‘yes’ more, because it harbours change. How do I decide? I usually ask myself: “At the very least, will this make a good story?”
ps: I’m writing this from Los Cabos, Mexico…because I said ‘yes’ (good story)!
I like your video, but the idea of the yes chain will inevitable lead to a dramatic and fatal amount of expences at the moment which I can’t effort. What do you suggest I do in this situation? Decide where to start my yes-chain?
Hi Marcus,
Watching the video (slouched in my chair as usual) I was brought bolt-upright by something Charles Dunstone said in answer to your question.
He said what he liked doing most was creating something that had never existed before.
That really resonated, as throughout my life, I continually tell people that’s what I like doing best! Indeed, when I was 9 years old, a psychology student came to my school. She asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. I proudly said “I want to be an inventor!”
So here I am now, creating websites (my scrabblehelper.net site), and this month I launched my first iPhone app. I just want to be continually creating stuff that didn’t exist before!
Here’s hoping I create a bit of that ‘luck’ that Charles has
Keep up the good work!
@Richard If you can think it you can probably create it! Best of success with the new website: here’s to your next triple word score!
@Jesper Will it?! First of all give it a shot. The trick is you don’t tell people you’re in a yes-minded way. Second of all set yourself a budget: IE. “I will say yes for a month, I will put aside $50 to enable this”.
Hi Marcus,
What can I say…YES!! Another truly inspiring and positive episode. I’m going to implement in my work and social life. Thanks so much.
Hey Marcus! Guess, what your trick has brought to me over the last two weeks:
* Hundreds of people (literally)
* A four day trip to a Chiang Mai (free)
* A two day trip to another province (free)
* Instant date today with second date tomorrow
* Delicious food and stomach ache
* Another instant date a few days ago (hope to meet her again on Sunday)
* A whole bunch of new opportunities, such as:
* Invitation to a speech about scholarships for students who want to travel abroad (new chance, I’ll take it!)
* Vague chance of a second term in Thailand (take it!)
* Invitation to go to a temple in Bangkok for three days to teach German to some children (take it!)
* Trip to join the cremation ceremony of a enlightened monk who passed away recently (take it!)
And the list is far from being complete. Let’s see where we can go from here!
At first, I found it hard to distinguish between good and not-so-good opportunities (there are just two many to take them all). Now I got this as my guideline: Take any chance to do something you always wanted to do, are afraid to do, are curious about or, especially EVERYTHING YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. As long as it is not harmful. It works wonders!
Hey Marcus! Quick update: here’s some more recent random adventures I’ve experienced thanks to watching this video and saying ‘yes’ to stuff!
* Third price in a beauty competition (US$ 75)
* 2 University credit points for speaking 20 seconds
* Dates
* Meditation sessions with the strangest guru ever (he jumps during meditation)
* Networking with some millioneers – one of them even invited me to join his business (unfortunately, his business sucks)
* Met hundreds of new people
* Made loads of new friends
* Attended a three-day conference
* Eaten lots of awesome food en mass (often for free!)
* Got free thaiboxing lessons for the next half year
* And much, much more!