May 19th, 2010
Welcome to episode 6 of Your Charisma Coach! Thanks for joining me! Today I’m going to answer a question that was sent in from Mark in Brazil, who asked what advice I could give him about overcoming social anxiety, and whether or not I’m really worried about what random people think when I go and talk to them. For me, being able to overcome social anxiety really has changed my life, and given me the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want in public, so I was more than happy to answer this for you all.
In fact, overcoming social anxiety is something that I want to look at in a lot more detail in the upcoming episodes, so that I really can share with you all my social anxiety tips 
- Never Think Too Far Ahead Of What You’re Going To Say
- First Comes Chaos
- Write Yourself A Story
- Just Have Fun!
There are 4 steps that I think you need to take in order to overcome social anxiety…
1) Never Think Too Far Ahead Of What You’re Going To Say
The biggest reason people struggle to overcome social anxiety is because they try to anticipate what’s going to happen. Firstly I want to say that whenever I start a conversation, I’ve never really got an idea of exactly what’s going to happen. I think if you do, you really restrict yourself to what you’d imagined, and conversation that’s confined to imagination just isn’t any fun!
2) First Comes Chaos
Start conversations in chaos by sharing random observations with people. They should be random and they should be serendipitous – that way your conversations are always going to be free flowing. If you’re thinking beforehand about what you’re going to talk about, it’s never going to go as well. Remember what I talked about in the last video: it’s going to go well, you’re going to have fun, and no bad things are going to happen!
3) Write Yourself A Story
Every time you start a conversation, I want you to remember this: you’re writing a story for yourself, you’re writing a good memory for yourself that is going lead to a good memory for both the person you’re speaking to, and yourself! Even if it goes ‘badly’!
4) Just Have Fun!
You’ll find that when you stop doing things with an agenda, trying to gain something from someone and you start seeking to amuse yourself instead, you’ll worry a lot less what about what people are thinking, because… you’re having fun!
People are like mirrors. If you start talking with a positive vibe, you’ll get that reflected back at you. My upbeat nature always keeps me impervious to what other people think of me.
So for this week, your “homework” is to start a random conversation with a really positive vibe, and just see what happens. If you’re smiling and giving off a nice vibe, only good things are going to happen.
So Mark, I hope that answers your question!
Drop me an email if you’ve got any questions
Until next time,
Marcus
that women was funny! Really informative again. Thanks
awesome video. would of been helpful if you approach 1 or 2 more sets and filmed it.
that would be great. but the infield video you have is great. keep the good work
Love the woman who ran in
I love the episode format – short ans snappy and full of good vibes
Ah, love it!! I actually watched that twice… once to just watch, and the second time to really make use of the subtitles. But oh man, homework?? Err, a dog ate it. Sorry. Not my dog, I don’t have one, just… a dog. Anyway, yes, I do have questions for you! Well, one question really. I sent it to you a little while ago, I’m sure you’re getting round to answering it for me
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Looking forward to the next one!!
Hey Marcus, I appreciate that alot, Im sorry I didnt answer before but I was without internet.
Thanks for it, but I will give value to your teachings as it is awesome and will try before, giving any feed, Im out to try this weekend.
Thanks Again!
Eu quero ser assim!
I want to be like Marcus…
my name is even similar Marcos only changes the letter u !!!! ^^
Meu novo estilo de vida!!
my new lifestyle!
OMG, Marcus Invasion!
So mate, I needed to report how it happened. I went out on the weekend I commented. That night started out weird, but I made commitment to try the advice, and I did.
First a fight started outside (Haha, classic!) .. I managed to be like I was back on school , to peace the fight, I made friends with both guys everything turned out ok, everyone was waiting to enter, I started talking to the bouncers.. the dudes to my surprise were super friendly, later I entered without needing to pay a cover.
I made friends with bar tenders etc. What was awesome that night I was having so much fun and not caring much, I was well recieved by 90-95% of people I talked to, (There were still some bitchy women, I think its normal at the club. No worries)
2 Things I found out.
1 ° My Energy is very different than yours mate, or seems like by the video, is still happy but more than a quiet happy. Dunno if thats right, just me or whatever, I will try to experience more different ranges.
2 ° Doesnt matter how much social or indifferent to negative feedback I was on one night, the other night I still have to kinda start again, is easier, but not so much. It was nice for me to keep that in mind, because the excuses that were gone on first night were back on second and third. It’s the mind trying to trick ! I think the answer to that might be, be social all the time.
Looking forward to the next videos, what ever you think about it, you can message me here or in my email.
Thanks again Marcus.
Great videos!
I just got done watching all of them
They are very informative
keep up the good work
Hey mate, are you still alive?
It’s been over a month since you updated the site and I was starting to enjoy watching you do your crazy approaches on video!
RE: Dax
Sorry about the delay in video updates. More on the way very, very shortly. Hang in there! I intend videos to be weekly very shortly. Thanks for your support!
I play random episode in the morning and it tunes me into positivity
. Thanks!
You are simply amazing! All the best to you!
HAHAHA Awesome! That Lady that run in! Hilarious!
The video is really cool, and helpfull. And i noticed that you are on daygame paradise, hehe, That square is Where Andy and Yad take their students
i want spontaneous lessons from the woman who ran in lol
Lol…Marcus, the way that woman randomly ran in along with the fact that this vid is about serendipity IS serendipity in itself! Good stuff
Hey Marcus, just watched this video. And wanna say that was truly brilliant and very amusing..awesome tips marra.
i really like your vids, but sometimes i cant really hear you, because of fast speaking, noise, and it probably has a lil bit to do with the fact that im not english myself (dutch), but i was wondering if you could add subtitle (yes i mean english lol) so it doesnt matter if i can hear you, because then i can understand you anyway
thanks for great vids anyway
Hi Mitch I’m afraid I can’t add extra subtitles at the moment as that space at the bottom of each video is used for the extra notes I write up. I’ll try and talk a bit more clearly next time
love your style marcus!