Want to have more fun and exciting interactions? It’s simple. All you have to do is use this very effective self-confidence tip and…
…TAKE MORE RISKS!
Think about it. When’s the last time you took a BIG risk in a conversation?
My guess is it’s been awhile. The hard truth is, that’s why you’re having unexciting interactions. You’ve gotta take some chances if you want to have some fun! No risk, no reward, as the saying goes.
Taking risks creates an emotional spike in the people you’re speaking to. What’s an emotional spike? You create an emotional spike anytime you say or do something that causes the other person to have an emotional response. That emotional response can, of course, be positive (perhaps you give them a genuine compliment and it makes their day), but you can also create an emotional spike by creating a bit of tension.
Your server says: “Did you enjoy your meal?” With a straight face you say, “Not at all. It was absolute rubbish. I demand my money back immediately!”
In this example, you create tension, which causes an emotional spike. Then you pause, causing the tension to build even more, then finally you release that tension and let your server in on the joke. This a very powerful technique, and will definitely make you stand out from the crowd.
(Self-Confidence Tip: experiment with creating tension and then waiting as long as humanly possible before releasing it. The more comfortable you become with holding tension, the more powerful you’ll be as a conversationalist)
Emotional spikes sound cool and all, but why do they matter as a self-confidence tip?
Well, not only do emotional spikes make your conversations more fun, they make you yourself seem more interesting, more memorable, and more attractive. Imagine you’re an average person having the same dull conversations you have every day until someone gets your attention by throwing a wadded up piece of paper at you, then has a conversation with you that’s fun and playful and gives you a high-five as you say goodbye.
Or, someone runs up to you and says, “Hey you look bored! I heard an awful joke the other day and thought you could use a laugh. Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery!”
Do you think you’ll remember that person? Do you think you’ll look back fondly on that interaction? You’re damn right you will! Go out and be that memorable person! Start shaking things up a bit, and see what happens. I think you’ll be surprised by how much fun you’ll have.
Not only does taking risks develop your ability to spark emotion in others, it helps you practice another invaluable charisma skill – social calibration. Plainly put, social calibration is the ability to read people and deeply understand social situations. It means you know when to push in your conversations and create tension, and when to sit back and build comfort and rapport.
The more risks you take, the more you’ll tune-in and become aware of what you can get away with. You develop the ability to read people and anticipate their reactions and responses. It’s like a superpower!
In the accompanying video, Marcus literally BITES a girl’s arm on the tube, and proceeds to have a fun/ flirty conversation with her and her friends!
Absolutely crazy right? But, Marcus has honed his skills of social calibration to the point that he can do that. He didn’t know what her reaction would be. The truth is can never truly know, how people will react. But, after years of experience taking risks and adjusting accordingly, Marcus felt like he could get away with biting a complete stranger, and sure enough, he did.
Now, I’m not suggesting you go out and start biting people left right and center…
…I don’t want a lawsuit on my hands.
But, I do want you to start throwing little risks into your conversations. When someone asks a boring question like, “You alright?” don’t give the typical,“I’m good” response. That’s so dull!
Instead, say, “I’m the best I have ever been in my entire life! I just ate a piece of chocolate cake that was so good I ran into the kitchen and kissed the baker!”
When checking out at the grocery store and you’re asked, “Did you find everything alright?” say “I have no idea! I was shopping with my eyes closed. I hope I picked out some good stuff!”
The trick is to never say the same thing twice. Even if you come up with a great line that makes them laugh so hard they pee their pants, challenge yourself to think of a new one next time. This keeps you sharp and helps develop your spontaneity. And quite frankly, it’s much more fun!
Want to know what happens to people who use the same lines over and over? Their souls die slow boring deaths. Don’t do that to your soul. It deserves better.
And one more thing!
There’s one last thing you should know before you start: It’s never going to feel like the “right” time to take a risk. The truth is, there’s never a “right” time, but there’s always too late (deep, right?). You can spend a lifetime thinking, “Oh…well…I’ll be playful next time.” Don’t waste your life waiting for the perfect time.
The next moment you see an opportunity to take a risk in a conversation, just go for it! And think to yourself, this is either going to go great, or it’s going to be really funny. Either way, it’s a win.
There will undoubtedly be feelings of nervousness and hesitation but push through them. Every interaction makes you stronger. I can’t guarantee it will go perfectly each time – like I said, we can never truly know how people will react – but I can promise you’ll feel free, and be better for having taken a chance.
As you’ll recall, taking risks makes you spontaneous, fun, and attractive. But even more important than all those things, it creates a habit of gently pushing your boundaries, which is important not only in developing charisma but in life as a whole. The more often you’re living right on the edge of your comfort zone, the better off you’ll be.
Now, I never want you to have another boring, unexciting, mundane conversation ever again, so get out there and start taking some risks! Start making some jokes and having some fun! It will be worth it. Trust me.
And, if you’d like to learn more ways to develop your spontaneity, self-confidence, and charisma, subscribe to this channel!