The Vault door creaks open once more and in this video, we’re going to focus on conversation skills and specifically the best ways of starting a conversation in a bar or club: a loud place where you’re surrounded by new people.
I’m going to share my experience of having a conversation in a bar, which I filmed on St. Patrick’s Day. I figured that a bar would provide the perfect opportunity to try out some of the very techniques that I love to teach. This includes conversation skills (as well as giving me the excuse to have a few beers!) and starting fun conversations with random people.
One of the great things about the particular bar that we stumbled into was that because of St. Patricks Day (and being an Irish bar) everyone was there for the same reason. This is the kind of information that you can immediately use to your advantage in order to connect with people fast.
No matter where you are, there is always a reason you and the people surrounding you are there. Even if you’re just lost, the reason you’re where you are is because you were trying to find out some details about your surroundings. Knowing someone’s motivation or reason for doing something allows you to immediately have a topic to talk about.
I’m sure you’ll know how well people connect when they share something in common. Throughout the video what you’ll see me use the fact that it was St. Patrick’s Day as a way of starting a conversation with people.
For most people, the idea of starting a conversation in this type of environment is a nightmare; you’re surrounded by a load of people you don’t know, and you’re just longing to find a way to connect with them.
Remember what I said earlier, everyone is where they are for a reason, and you can use that to your advantage. Going back to one of the big themes in episode two, you’ve got to be positive in order to really engage people. You’ll find that people generally reciprocate the attitude that you convey to them, so being positive nearly always results in people being warm and positive in their reply to you.
Similar to grabbing someone’s attention, peaking curiosity is a way of adding suspense and gravitas to what you have to say. The way I do this in the first clip of the video is simply by saying, “Hey… you know what?” Any open-ended question like this is perfect for then leading into what you have to say next.
It’s also important to note that even just having a 10-20 second conversation with someone at a bar makes it much easier to then go over and speak to them later again that night.
Something you will start to notice about nearly all my interactions in these videos is that I quickly turn the conversation to the other person. There is nothing anyone likes doing more than freely talking about themselves.
Another philosophy of mine is that I will always try and leave every person I meet better off than when I found them. This links in with some of the things I talked about in episode one, and you really feel amazing for doing this.
So the main things to take away from this video are just to give off a really happy, positive vibe in every conversation, and to remember to use the reasons of why you’re both where you are, to easily initiate a conversation.
The time is now approaching to watch episode four, where you’ll get access to more tips and techniques that will improve your conversation skills.