You’re now knee deep in The Vault: the only way is onward; there is no turning back!
Speaking of which, you have stumbled upon ‘Part 2’ of our mini-series on ‘Boosting Self-Esteem’. I’m going to share with you more practical tips that you can use to make yourself feel great and remove the pressure of social anxiety. A high self-esteem is fundamental in improving your success when dealing with people, because it goes a long way to freeing you from any concern about being judged by others.
If you’re suffering from social anxiety, one thing that you can do to is to learn how to love yourself. By this I simply mean giving yourself a mindset that’s worthy of being charismatic, charming and fun. This isn’t something that I’ve always had, it’s something that I had to build up and develop. This is part two in the series of boosting your self-esteem, where I cover 5 more self-esteem building exercises to make you feel good about yourself.
So without further ado, here’s a break-down of the video!
Before diving into the points I just talked about, something I briefly want to mention that wasn’t in the video, is self-concept and self-esteem. The self- concept is how we think about and evaluate ourselves. Most of us have a very hazy image of ourselves and it’s because we rarely take the time to really be introspective and decide things for ourselves. Ask yourself what you have to be grateful for and it will build your self-concept and self-esteem.
Being honest doesn’t mean that you have to share all your secrets! The trick is to act congruently with your thoughts so that you can create integrity for yourself. Honesty leads to consistency in your actions, which in turn builds self-respect & value.
Being honest is really a way of freeing yourself from feelings of guilt, but sometimes you can be too honest, which leads to hurting other people’s feelings. It’s all about finding the right balance.
So sometimes it’s okay to let things go. But when you’re feeling bad for keeping something a secret, then you know it’s something that you have to get off your chest.
Remember the golden rule: “treat others as you would want them to treat you.”
The next thing you can do to boost self-esteem, and really begin to love yourself is to connect with friends. All of my happiest times that I can think of have come when I’ve been hanging out with friends, and we’re all just enjoying ourselves.
So connect with your old mates. Go through your phone book and find somebody you haven’t spoken to in a while, call them up and have a chat with them.
When you make requests from people and they fulfill them, what you’re doing is creating reference points in your mind where you see that other people are valuing your decisions, as well as demonstrating that they value you as a person.
So at any opportunity where you get to be the decision maker, make the decision. If you’re out with your friends in a social setting, make the decision about what you’re going to do. When are you going to go to the bar? What place are you going to be going to afterward?
If your leadership skills aren’t too great, start by making small requests of your peers. Just be the person who makes decisions. So when you lead, you feel good because people are valuing what you have to say.
Public speaking is also a great avenue for this, because people are listening to you and being an audience to you, and that in turn makes you feel good yourself.
If you learn a skill or develop a talent, it gives you a sense of achievement, much like accomplishing a little goal. Learning an instrument is a great example of this, as it’s seriously rewarding since it’s quick and easy to see improvements.
A great way to get started with a new skill is to check your local college for evening classes. You’re bound to find a short course on something that gives you a fast return on talent!
Probably the thing that makes the biggest boost in self-esteem (and gets the quickest results!) is to do nice things for people. That means you give people time to make their day. Do something selfless, whatever it is, and it’ll make you feel great.
So whenever you have the opportunity to perform a random act of kindness or a good deed, the reward is in doing the deed itself, so you’ll actually feel good yourself!
By doing this, I can always think back to times I’ve done random acts of kindness and get back to a state of feeling great. When I do good things for other people, even if some people don’t like me, it doesn’t matter to me because I know that I’m a good person, and I’ve got all that evidence in my life to prove it!
Spreading kindness makes you feel great instantaneously!
If you choose to do even a few of the tasks I’ve mentioned in this video, your self-esteem will shoot up in no time! However, if you’re curious to learn more, then head to episode nine, where we have several more esteem-building tasks for you to fulfill…